Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested
all i did this year was get more gay
I need more platform shoes
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST
Meet Biddy, The Travelling Hedgehog
Those of us who want to travel but do not have the time or the money finally have a solution – we can travel in spirit together with Biddy the hedgehog, a little guy on Instagram whose travel photos are becoming insanely popular.
Toni DeWeese and Tom Unterseher, Biddy’s two loving owners in Oregon, take him on adventures almost every week throughout the Pacific Northwest. He visits mountains, forests, waterfalls, and the occasional donut shop.
Did a bunch of dogs breakup a fight between two cats? Am I seeing this right??
Having none of that shit today.
“Ay man, y’all chill the fuck out. Y’all fucking up the party.”
I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING
Anyone ever notice that cat chilling out by the car tire who didn’t even budge?
Barbara I Gongini
So my sister’s out for the day and my sister’s room is completely covered in One Direction posters
So I thought “why not cut out 350 shrek faces
aND MAKE EVERYTHING SHREK”
I PRESENT TO YOU
350 shrek faces
No face left uncovered
Now we wait
MAN DOWN MAN DOWN
This is a thing of beauty
It’s the dedication that makes this joke so funny.
From when I went out to get groceries earlier <3
- baby: a- a- a-
- parents: oh, the baby's first words!!
- baby: a- aaa- al-
- parents: apple?? air??
- baby: a- al- al-
- baby: Alchemy. The science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However, it is not an all-powerful art; it is impossible to create something out of nothing. If one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be given. This is the Law of Equivalent Exchange, the basis of all alchemy. In accordance with this law, there is a taboo among alchemists: human transmutation is strictly forbidden - for what could equal the value of a human soul...?